Saturday, December 6, 2014
Saturday, November 22, 2014 - 10:10 - At the mill

It is said that cats have nine Lives. I think Five is enough. Five possibilities of happiness or misfortune, achievement or failure, seem a busy schedule. Five starts, Five Lives in one single, when I think about it's also five dead unless you have the right to revive the Lives before or staying there a little, from time to time.
It would require Special Authorization, passports and visas for relive previous Lives, proofs that you don’t want to stay there for life, return promises, guarantees that you can travel through time without aftermaths, contracts for repatriation assistance in case of amnesia attack regarding real life, vaccines against generation's muddle, and sufficient solvency required of any traveler who wants to travel.

The procedures for the First Life would be laborious, the information needed to start long to get, but sometimes we could do it. Stay for good would be impossible, the visits would stay under oversight, escort and with a leader, somewhat like a tourist bus that stops only on motorways, to Autogrill and souvenir shops.
But sometimes we manage to escape the guards, to go beyond the eyes of the organizers, we would visit the country in freedom, castles, rivers, we would go down into the magic well, not even for long, review everything as fast possible, remain there, hidden in a corner, no longer return to reality, it will remain as childhood, we would remember everything.
Fairly quickly, however, precarious and disastrous political conditions, the lack of comfort, perhaps bullying or humiliation, undercover situation, would encourage to take the opposite path, backwards. We would ride on the plane back with a heavy heart and the impression of leaving what we love the most in the world, we would turn to the window to whine and when the wheels leave the track, we wouldn’t know anymore if to leave is a betrayal or an opportunity, we would only suffer an injury, that of departures, of tearings, of lost things, of exile.
Long after, a long time after, we will come out the photos, perhaps we’ll fashion an album, we will invent the legend.

Between each Life there would be passageways, sometimes funnel-shaped, doors very complicated to open and almost impossible to cross. We would be never sure to access the next Life, there would always be a risk for the present Life to be the last, and that we can no longer leave or that the boundary between two existences, extremely dangerous territory in some cases, take away Life from you, all the Lives from the beginning, without possibilities of redistribution. The transition from one Life to another can be determined by one thing that has been done, before get away from a Life we should do this thing exactly, or rather the condition for leaving a Life would be that thing, such a sesame, a decision to make, a sentence to pronounce, a person to understand, an act, concrete or symbolic achievement. In that way, we could only do a single thing really matters in every Life and it would be the symbol of the next Life, its banner, such as identities, five keys determined by five different flags.

In the Second Life, we would forget the lessons of the First or we would refuse to remember. We would be full of enthusiasm, unsuspecting - Four Lives still ahead, this numeral does not mean anything more than the Five or Three, we  would deal only with the Two. We would believe be born into this Life, we would think we never met anyone before, we would pretend to live for the first time, forgetting the First Life as if it never happened, as if it had determined nothing, it would be like new.
What we had better into this Life is abundant energy that other Lives would have not yet absorbed, roaring illusions, an intact body, then maybe we would be like a new penny actually, only one or two drunk but the wealthiest, in a world where everything would pump out , joys, fears, wine and many other spirits, friends, anguishes and laughs, sometimes even poorness. We learn to escape, to run away, to race, to be caught up, we learn to learn.
We learn in this Life, and for all those that follow, that the best is accessible.

Each Lifetime would be the resolution of an equation, new way of being in the world, using our senses, identify buildings, renunciations, taunting the devils, cheat or play the game. we would seek this meaning or  to forget that we want find it, we would try opposite directions unless to persist on a single path. we would learn the art of nodes, connections and quality of the links, we would weave a network like spiders make their webs, we would remain in the corner for reverse, deconstruct, dismantle the mechanisms. We choose to think or act, sometimes both, and maybe we would have the right to alternate Lives when we act and Lives as we think. We will spend time imagining outcomes and wait for them, thinking about possible endings, about other Lives, the ones which comes after and those before, those of others who watches us and those we can’t see, we often forget to focus on those present in our hands.

In the Third Life, anger invades the reasonings, we can’t figure out if we must keep moving to the next two Lives or regress to the two past Lives . We hesitate between digest trauma or prepare for the next, have the nostalgia of the past or be delighted by the future discoveries . We would make a first count, how many failures and successes, of efforts wasted, of unexpected gains, of energy spent, how many emotions felt even to tears, giggles, how many buddies. We would count money, humiliations, slaps and vengeance.
We would remember the victories, thresholds, incoming lines, the five drops overflowing vases and require change, the rainbow sky, eclipses, encounters with strange and unknown animals. We would own a collection of scars that shine and dirty and smelly wounds, we would take scratches for mutilations and gashes for mosquito bites, we would blame the all world, we would be happy to live what we don’t know even by proxy. We would like to make up time, or replace, or delete it. We would start running for fear of don't have leave on time.
We learn in this Life, and for all the ones in the future, that the worst is possible.

Before heading out from a Life, we would make a wish which would record Five in all, at the end. With some luck, we would made at least one important encounter in each Life, which would record Five people, at the end. Maybe we would read an important book in each Life, so that at each passing we would be richer of a book because we would have the right to take it with us throughout the Five Lives. Similarly we could accumulate Five images, Five jobs, Five objects which we care about like the apple of our eyes. We would have liked Five different places, cities, houses, and sometimes we could return in these places unless to be exiled. Whatever the opportunities to return we would keep these spaces like Five shelters, Five haven, Five hiding places. Perhaps the important meetings, books, houses and cities are the keys to open complicated doors and cross the impossible paths. Sometimes also we would do only one wish, we would remain faithful to one single match, one single book, only one house, a single job, a single country one single image, throughout the Five Lives. Sometimes also we would meet anyone for real even wishing to remain faithful, we wouldn't have kept any job, neither house, wandering for Five Lives without belonging to any community or any religion, and to replace what is missing we would have done much more than the Five vows allowed. Sometimes also some for Five long Lives could not read or could not see the images that are shown to them and accumulate handicaps, from one to Five, not on purpose.

From the Fourth Life, we would be the only one to decide the happiness and misfortune. We wouldn't let anyone walk all over , taking the necessary decisions, we would  become the leader. We will say The revenge I do not care, breakdown doesn't concern me anymore, we no longer seek to please nor to find. I don’t care would be the favorite phrase of the Fourth Life.
We would no longer think to the tests but on sequences. We would have understood the inevitable bonds,  tie the knot  and the rings. We would live the last chance, we would burn the last cartridges, would risk everything. Like the stars before explosion we would come into bloom the best possible, allowing that only the Fourth Life authorize , with dreams of Lives already lived or completely unreleased, unusual and original. We would come off material goods or would like them even more, we would detach of parasites to keep only the essential, the faith. Some would be able to go until bareness or nonsense, all give or take everything, we would do it sometimes . Some days we would be cynical, criticizing everything and everyone afraid to admit crimes, for the first time in our Four Lives we would be scared thinking about the future. Some days we would be as light as feathers, with the ability to float, to metamorphosis, ridicule would no longer ashamed, tiny things would make laugh, hope would tear our real smiles.
We say I stop running, for better or worse, we would accept.

The Five Lives will be like the fingers of a hand, inseparable but dissociated as Five paths to explore Five tracks, Five solutions, crossed or parallel lines, such essential drawings showing Five patterns, different and complementary graphical techniques, assorted or mismatched colors , contrasting or in the same tone, shades of the same family belonging to the same person. No insurance could ensure the end of the course, to finish it, win or lose, sometimes we even stop before the end. Some would not have time to live Five Lives, for example they would live forever only the First - or any of the other before the Fifth - either that their Life is suddenly interrupted or because they would have remained locked inside, for one reason or another hard to explain and still very complicated to understand. Some of these stranded persons would pretend to have lived Five Lives, for all these complicated reasons which can’t be explained. By dint of act to false they would be persuaded to have the normal course of Five Lives like other people, clear round, straight ahead, as the rights lines.

In the Fifth Life we wouldn’t need checks, we would know the correct account. We would find Five good reasons to go out of the business , or to agree or  Five permanent reasons to worry. We would begin to identify Five ways to do this or that properly, Five smart methods, we would write dictionaries, sometimes we would do other absurd things or not at all clever than most of the time only people of the Fifth Life include , we would think to the Five things you have never done, and to those that one can not do anymore. Then we should find that it's cool to forgive so we will do it all the time, we would forgive a little the ugly things of the others Lives, even imaginary. We would make our mea culpa, we would have clear ourselves. Sometimes we would say important things one last time, sometimes even with an enviable wisdom by people from Lives One to Four, and even those of Life Five. Sometimes it would be nonsense, for fun, to draw attention, for real too.
Maybe we would be able at the end to count backwards to get to zero, much like a countdown at the last moment, to be sure not to miss anything, not even the last Five minutes.
We would might have Five occasions to die or by dint of the Five lives, we would have had time to invent them.
Unless we rediscover the essential explanations which in each Lives catalyze starts, get back to Live, to hope, believe in it, again, until the end.

It is said that cats own nine Lives, perhaps that humans own Five and that mankind will have Five ages. Perhaps we are only in the First, the one of shocks, instability and dependency. Maybe we have whole Life ahead of us or maybe carrots are cooked and it's too late, that humans don’t possess anything especially not Five Lives, Five chances, opportunities to grow, Five pairs of different eyes, maybe mankind has already looked Five times in Five directions and didn’t see anything, without meaning to, it happens, Five times you pass by or in front of and you see nothing.
Five times too many, it doesn’t matter, all you need is the conviction that simply once, a look, a spark, a sharing, an embrace, a love, a life. Change everything.
If I close my eyes and count to Five, maybe Five shooting stars pass under my eyelids. If I count to Five and opens my eyes, even the horizon can’t stop my gaze, the only number I want to see is already selected.

myriam eyann

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